she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Randomize
