we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
