would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize