You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize