I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
