I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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