I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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