Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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