Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
