time to smoke my breakfast
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
All I want is dick and wine.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize