New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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