hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
