1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
the day after is always just damage control
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
