they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
