lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
