she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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