There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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