Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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