I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
