Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize