it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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