we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
