My brain says no but my pants say off.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
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