you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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