come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
He is an equal opportunity slut.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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