i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
YAS. BRING CRAB.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
