On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize