Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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