you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
