he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I have fence marks all over my body
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Randomize
