Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I am midnight drunk by noon
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
