idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
