if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
