You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
How external is "for external use only"?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
