What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
