i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize