we have pet lesbian snakes
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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