Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Blood and glitter go together right?
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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