im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
