Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize