dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
