I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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