they need to just BURY HIM!
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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