my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I intend to get homeless drunk
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
