even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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