i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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