I want to make a zoo with you.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
