You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
