forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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