The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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