i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Randomize
