so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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