so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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