you would pick up someone in the library
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
we're making bets on your personal life
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
