Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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