The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
