You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
