Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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