THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
