im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
