Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Rumble strips road head = magical
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
