just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize