i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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