She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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