Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
