..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
