ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
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