I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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