She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
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