yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I'm at about main and main street
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
