I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
