the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize