The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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